My grandmother died in 1975, but her birthday is coming up, and that

always causes me to reminisce. The long walks we used to take to the

store on Brunswick Street , the quarters she gave me for meaningless

jobs like pulling weeds or washing the sidewalk... Those gems were all

good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of

grandmotherly advice, occurred when I was only about 10.

We were sitting in a park having just finished collecting some 40 soda

bottles for the deposit money on a beautiful spring day. She told me

that one day, I would find a wonderful woman and start my own family.

"And remember always this thing," she said. "Be sure you marry a woman

with small hands."

"How come, Grandma?" I asked her. She answered in her soft voice..

"Makes your dick look bigger."

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it!?