My computer isn't that nervous...  it's just a bit ANSI
 

If only women and kids only came with pull-down menus & online help
 

My computer's sick with a virus; I think my modem is a carrier
 

Honey, I Formatted the Kids
 

Your e-mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage
 

Justify my text ?  I'm sorry, but it has no excuse
 

Finish your mail packet -- children are off-line in India
 

Never violate C:\ the Prime Directory
 

Multitasking is merely screwing up several things at once
 

If at first you don't succeed, call it beta version 0.91
 

Stack Error: Lost on a cluttered desk
 

Bug ???    That's not a bug, that's an undocumented feature
 

Terminal glare: A look that kills
 

I'm not a Webmaster, but I play one on UseNet
 

ZMODEM: Big bits, Soft blocks, Tighter ASCII
 

Life would be so much easier if I had the source code
 

Mommy !!!  The cursor's winking at me !
 

Managing programmers is like herding cats
 

Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped ?
 

Capt'n !!!  The spellchecker kinna take this abuse !
 

C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files
 

ASCII to ASCII, DOS to DOS
 

"Mr. Worf, scan that ship"    "Aye, Captain...  300 DPI ?"
 

! sgub evah t'nseod CP sihT  ? sgub naem ayaddahW
 

E=Mc^5...  Nah   E=Mc^4... Nah   E=Mc^3...  Oh, the hell with it
 

Today's subliminal message is:
 

Profanity is the universal programming language
 

Calm down -- it is only ones and zeros after all
 

Computer analyst to programmer: "Start coding, I'll go find out what they want"