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The Vermonter's Guide to Computer Lingo |
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- Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.
- Log Off: Don't add wood.
- Monitor: Keep an eye on the wood stove.
- Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
- Mega Hertz: When yer not carefull downloadin' (watch th' toes!)
- Floppy Disk: Whacha get from pilin' too much firewood.
- Disk Operating System: The equipment the Doc uses when you have a floppy disk.
- RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.
- Hard Drive: Gettin' home in mud season.
- Prompt: What you wish the mail was in mud season.
- Windows: What to shut when it's 30 below.
- Screen: What you need for black fly season.
- Byte: What black flies do.
- Chip: What to munch on.
- Micro Chip: What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.
- Infrared: Where the left-over's go when Fred's around.
- Modem: What you did to the hay fields.
- Dot Matrix: John Matrix's wife.
- Printer: Someone who can't write in cursive.
- Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy
- Keyboard: Where you hang your keys.
- Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.
- 486: One of them fancy imported cars.
- Mouse: What eats the horses' grain in the barn.
- Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the roof up.
- Port: Fancy wine.
- Enter: C'mon in!
- Random Access Memory: You can't remember how much that new rifle cost when your wife asks.
- Digital: Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock.
- Apple: If you don't know, I ain't tellin'.
- Program: What's on TV when there's reception.
- CD ROM: The furriner at the bank that sells retirement accounts.
- DIN: The noise at the barn dance.
- Laser: Someone less ambitious than you.
- Line In: Whatcha do when you go fishin' or whacha dry yer laundry on. Jon Foglein
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