After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and
says, "I'm sorry, I don't see your name written in the Book."

"How current is your copy?" he asks.

"I get a download every ten minutes," St. Peter replies, "why do you ask?"

"I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn type. It was not
until my death was imminent that I cried out to God, so my name probably
hasn't arrived to your copy yet."

"I'm glad to hear that," Pete says, "but while we're waiting for the update
to come through, can tell me about a really good deed that you did in your
life?"

The guys thinks for a moment and says, "Humm, well there was this one time
when I was driving down a road and I saw a group of biker gang members
harassing this poor girl.

I slowed down, and sure enough, there they were, about 20 of them harassing
this poor woman.

Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and
walked up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy, 6-foot-4, 260
pounds, with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to
his ears.

As I walked up to the leader, the bikers formed a circle around me and told
me to get lost or I'd be next."

"So I ripped the leader's chain out of his face and smashed him over the
head with the tire iron.

Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, "Leave this poor
innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of SICK, deranged animals! Go home
before I really teach you a lesson in PAIN!"

St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"